1. KID : mommy, i cant sleep, there's a monster under my bed
    MOM : that's silly, theres no such thing as mo- OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM! Just kidding, he only eats kids, goodnight!

  2. phiftycent:

    princem4rtian:

    poyzn:

    This is like installing Windows on a Mac.

    I am physically required to reblog this or my heart will stop beating.

    oh my god

  3. (Source: psych2go)

  4. mikalhvi:

full-onrainstorm:

WHAT WOULD POSSES YOU TO LEAVE GOOGLE FOR BING

"Did you mean: Congratulations TRAITOR!" that’s fucking priceless.

    mikalhvi:

    full-onrainstorm:

    WHAT WOULD POSSES YOU TO LEAVE GOOGLE FOR BING

    "Did you mean: Congratulations TRAITOR!" that’s fucking priceless.

  5. The Signs and their Rooms

    Aries: Messy, messy, messy. 'The chair' (you know which chair I'm talking about) has probably disappeared among all their clothes. Theory is that it probably fused to the ground.
    Taurus: They have an ingrained connection with every single one of their posessions. They know you moved that sock 0.2 meters to the left don't deny it.
    Gemini: Where's the floor? No one knows anymore. When they magically decide to clean up, it's like christmas morning when they find something they don't even remember having. Then, they get distracted by said thing and forget about cleaning up.
    Cancer: Their room is their sanctuary. Probably going through an ant invasion because of all the food they eat there. Most likely to have a secret food stash.
    Leo: Usually organized, though they can be lazy. They probably don't move enough to have a mess.
    Virgo: Same as Taurus. Like the Eye of Sauron, they know everything that goes down there.They go into phases in which everything is probably color coded. They get lazy and give up a few weeks later when no one notices.
    Libra: Probably unlivable until they decide Today is the Day and organize everything. They get bored halfway through and go back to feeling sorry for themselves because their rooms aren't pretty.
    Scorpio: The walls are full with their interests. The mess control is manageable. Once you go in, it might be too dark to find your way out.
    Sagittarius: Doesn't care at all about mess. Until they see someone else's clean room and their competitive gene appears. Soon it dies down and they go back to not caring.
    Capricorn: Puts everyone else's to shame. Mostly, because like Leo, they are not naturally messy. Can be OCD about their space.
    Aquarius: Their interests are also everywhere. They sleep next to their laptop. Their desk is no man's land.
    Pisces: Clutter is their natural habitat. They probably don't remember the last time they turned on the lights. The windows have never been opened. An excavation team is needed to find the floor. Until people come over, then it's DEFCON 4 and everything is either organized or hidden.

  6. tastefullyoffensive:

    Family Photos [via]

    Previously: Before and After Photos of Animals Growing Up

  7. cracked:

When you’re on a trail, don’t put yourself on the road to embarrassment.
5 Things You Learn From Camping (If You Hate the Outdoors)

#4. Always Walk in the Back (so No One Can See You Fall)
We went hiking one day during the camping trip. I thought it would be fine, because I climb uphill and push people out of my way on a fairly regular basis anyway. I started out in the middle, but after delaying our hike for five minutes by getting stuck on a bush somehow (most of the five minutes were spent just laughing at me), I moved to the back of the group. This was good because, not five seconds later, I tripped and fell flat on my face. If you don’t think falling is infinitely less embarrassing if no one saw you trip, you clearly don’t fall very often, and were probably one of the people who took gym class way too seriously.

Read More

I loved camping as a child and I still claim to love it because I love the outdoors, but this sounds like me camping. I like clean hair, dirtless food, and level ground that allows me to seem even slightly graceful when I walk. I’m in denial of my hatred of camping and i’ll happily stay like that.

    cracked:

    When you’re on a trail, don’t put yourself on the road to embarrassment.

    5 Things You Learn From Camping (If You Hate the Outdoors)

    #4. Always Walk in the Back (so No One Can See You Fall)

    We went hiking one day during the camping trip. I thought it would be fine, because I climb uphill and push people out of my way on a fairly regular basis anyway. I started out in the middle, but after delaying our hike for five minutes by getting stuck on a bush somehow (most of the five minutes were spent just laughing at me), I moved to the back of the group. This was good because, not five seconds later, I tripped and fell flat on my face. If you don’t think falling is infinitely less embarrassing if no one saw you trip, you clearly don’t fall very often, and were probably one of the people who took gym class way too seriously.

    Read More

    I loved camping as a child and I still claim to love it because I love the outdoors, but this sounds like me camping. I like clean hair, dirtless food, and level ground that allows me to seem even slightly graceful when I walk. I’m in denial of my hatred of camping and i’ll happily stay like that.

  8. randywhorton:

askfordoodles:

kindamindless:

I laughed way too much

that is the most cartoony wildlife footage ever captured.

I’m dyin

    randywhorton:

    askfordoodles:

    kindamindless:

    I laughed way too much

    that is the most cartoony wildlife footage ever captured.

    I’m dyin

  9. eyress:

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF WITS
The game is this: I set up five pairs of identical looking shots:  pineapple juice or lemon juice,  Chinese sugar tea or apple cider vinegar,  flat coke or soy sauce,  water or distilled white vinegar,  and tomato juice or Tabasco sauce.
I challenge a player in the circle to a color. They pick one and I take the other, with our best poker faces. Other players have to guess who got what.
It’s like the Princess Bride/A Study in Pink but no one gets poisoned!

    eyress:

    I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF WITS

    The game is this:
    I set up five pairs of identical looking shots:
    pineapple juice or lemon juice,
    Chinese sugar tea or apple cider vinegar,
    flat coke or soy sauce,
    water or distilled white vinegar,
    and tomato juice or Tabasco sauce.

    I challenge a player in the circle to a color. They pick one and I take the other, with our best poker faces. Other players have to guess who got what.

    It’s like the Princess Bride/A Study in Pink but no one gets poisoned!

  10. celeryandhummus:

    nanner:

    Kristen Stewart is having none of your gendered bull shit

    kristen is an actual kickass feminist who speaks up aaaall the time and gets so little credit for it

    (Source: dailystews)

  11. (Source: huffylemon)

  12. manmustexplore:

    thefrogman:

    [webstagram] [h/t: sasaq]

    LOOK AT HIS HAPPY LITTLE FACE.

  13. tastefullyoffensive:

    [doodleforfood]

  14. katswenski:

    Little Timmy was not fully prepared for this quiz, I’m afraid.

  15. saunteringvaguelydownwards:

    decemberpaladin:

    sizvideos:

    Video

    I love how she almost drops it until she smells it and that flashbulb memory hits.

    “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real … Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

    Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit